So Far AwayYou're closest thing I have of a best friend
and I try to put you in the friend zone
for both out sakes.
No matter how hard I try,
it doesn't work.
I think about you all the time
yet, you never spare me a thought.
I practically cry tears about you,
yet, the words can't leave my mouth.
I like. . .
I love. . .
I won't say it,
because if I do;
I'll have to believe it
Catch the StarsCatch the stars, lover,
Grasp them in your hands,
Take the stars darling,
Place them in your heart,
Catch the stars, lover,
One of them may be,
I want to loveI want to love.
That feeling found,
In the space between,
Hope and innocence.
That feeling found,
Flying in the voice of beauty,
Wandering the connections of two bodies embraced.
If love was or is a fire,
Then why have I never felt its warmth?
Where is the map, compass or signal for my love GPS?
I thought that if the coordinates were set,
This would be easy,
It still isn't.
Never has easy been this hard,
Love is seen but seldom captured,
It's in the moments,
When time is told to wait,
For an image, thought or kiss,
These words were constructed,
By a calloused mind,
And a bruised memory,
The scars of someone who tries.
A battle I Can't WinI don't want to
I cover my ears-
but your voice still
Your eyes speak louder
as your face contorts
and I brace myself
But my voice is
sick and wary.
My defense is gone-
I close my eyes-
shut you out.
It's hard considering
you're not even here,
I don't know where
vindictive voice rings
though my ears.
My thoughts are against me,
I'm losing a battle against myself.
H o m e.Breath catches,
hearts beat faster,
while memories of past words
drift through a passion-clouded mind:
"My love for you was so unexpected,
My heart feels like my chest can barely contain it.
Like it doesn't belong to me anymore,
it belongs to you.
And if you want it, I would ask for nothing in return.
No gifts, no goods, no demonstration of devotion,
just knowing that you love me too."
Tears begin to flow,
and a heart bursts with emotion;
Love - unlike anything felt before,
strong and overwhelming.
Fear - of losing the best thing to ever happen
to a formerly worthless being.
Need - to be in this place forever,
held in loving arms.
A growing warmth blossoms
as a fire is lit.
It will only grow in intensity over time.
Not wanting to leave this moment Where, finally,
it feels just like home.
fascination.clearly i've developed a fascination with cigarettes
and hand-holding and cheek-kisses,
something about thinking about him on starry nights,
when i can draw lines connecting his initials to mine
because he was a cancer and i was a cancer,
and my horoscope told me to keep him close to my heart
so he could peel back my skin and my ribs and my lungs
to steal my words right from my chest
he smelled like Newports and hours-old cologne,
but sometimes it was his smoke mingled with a fresh peppermint
that drew me to his lips and made me wonder
if i could get addicted to the taste of his nicotine
he made me want him next to me, to lay my hand on his chest
while our minds soared into the ocean of clouds and birds above us
and we stared at each other with our eyes closed,
letting our lips speak in a wordless rhythm
that somehow contained three syllables.
Vie NoirYou were the promise of regret,
destiny wrapped in an egg shell,
something that temperance would not allow.
And you looked at me with cloudy eyes,
sipping your excuses while choking on tomorrow.
(We were the privileged few that God chose to endure the hopeless)
And you cursed my name while confessing every lie.
My borders grew as you clawed for the limits of absolution.
(We were the privileged few whose skin was hard to pierce)
And you loaded that gun with false bravado and ill intent.
The world was watching as you aimed it at the future.
(We were the privileged few who never forget to empty the chamber)
And you stared into the nothing, hoping to find me there